I remember when I turned 25- my first thought was "wow- a quarter of a century! I'm OLD!!"
I remember when I turned 30- my first thought was "wow- three decades! I'm OLD!!"
Now that I'm about to hit 40 my first thought is not so much about how OLD I am but what I have acheived. Have I really impacted the world in a meaningful way? Have I done all I could do with my first four decades? Sadly, the answer is no.
In some ways, I haven't so much as altered the world one bit. I haven't created a masterpiece or influenced world thought. I haven't gone around the world and experienced every different kind of culture. I have had a number of opportunities slip through my fingers whilst people who at one point looked up and admired me now have surpassed me and acheived so much more.
It's ok though- I'm not out for sympathy or messages of validation.
Funnily enough I forced myself to think of some of the positive influences I have created. I have inspired people to be better than themselves. There are students of mine who still play and make some genuine money from it. My genuine friends have stuck with me for a heckuva long time too. I have people in my life who make me happy and encourage me to be the best person I can be. Yes, even at 40 you never stop wanting to be better.
Three years ago I made the decision to go back to study and become a fully qualified teacher and I haven't regretted the decision. I have been blessed with meeting many wonderful people at that campus who I now consider a friend. I finish my final prac at the end of September and then I hopefully will able to help carve out some wonderful minds from our young generation. Being passionate about my subjects helps I think.
I guess also turning 40 means you give out "sage" advice. The recent death of Charlotte Dawson (who I spoke about in an earlier blog), highlights for me something I heard from the musician Pinky Beecroft who was asked what his philosophy on life was and he simply replied "Don't be a dick to people". I wish I could carve that into wood and stick it up in every classroom. That simple 6 word phrase sums up everything that worries me about our current keyboard generation.
Sadly, it's not just the young people that think it's ok to be rude and mean. A few of my Facebook friends have been blocked because of their constant stream of negativity. 50+ news articles a day from crappy sources with fudged facts and poor spelling, status updates about their pets, over dramatic updates that intimate they may just kill themselves because they don't like Tony Abbott (if ever there was a cry for attention, there's one). It started to affect my mood. It's amazing how removing negativity from your life actually helps you be a little more tolerant.
Please don't get me wrong. You can run your page and say what you like on it- that's your choice. It's also my choice what I do and don't want to see on my own feed. Sometimes take a deep breath, get some sleep, listen to some positive music or watch a comedy series you like. Smile. Treat people with respect and dignity and be thankful that you live in a country where you can say what you like about the government or public figures without fear of being shot.
I feel truly blessed to have had some wonderful experiences in my life despite the fact that I have not really travelled. Last year I got to conduct "Phantom of the Opera", the last in a line of shows for me to MD. I've had shows that I was glad to see the back of, but that wasn't one of them. I met and worked with some wonderful people and I believe we created a piece of absolute magic.
Adelaide theatre has been, until recently, very kind to me. I guess I have started to feel more and more cut off from theatre as my involvement has lessened due to my studies. If I have a dream, it's to be asked to do a cabaret show with someone I truly want to collaborate with- nothing fancy, just a singer and myself. I have a list of people I'd love to work with and maybe I'll just get that call. I've never performed a cabaret show and I feel like I've truly missed out. I always feel like I'm the one pushing for things to happen. I can't remember the last time someone from theatre just contacted me out of the blue for a catch-up.
Ok, before this gets too bogged down, I just want to say a couple more positive things and thoughts. Please don't let the world get you down. Be a positive force for change. Soak up as much information as you can and read up. Take time out of your day to read a classic novel. No seriously, do it. Set yourself a leisurely target and go for it.
Try and be there for others. When people need your support then give it if you can. And take time to chat with people you've lost contact with. You don't have to become besties with them, but letting them know you care is a wonderful thing.
40 years. Wow. Things are already on the improve for me and I hope for you too.
Non ad populum irrumatus
